Saying Goodbye to Mamacita

I said goodbye to Mother today.

No, she didn't die. But she's 91 years old and just had a stroke and she's fading. Actually, she's been saying for about 10 years that she wants to "go home to Jesus" and to be with Daddy again. Last Christmas, right after Lois died, I went to Oklahoma and saw her and it was wonderful. She held my hand with her soft little old lady hands. I poured out my heart.

"Mother, I miss Lois. And I'm grieving. But it's the weirdest thing, I'm actually excited about the opportunities that are now open to me because there were some things Lois did not like to do."

She looked at me with that steely blue-eyed look that I know so well. "So you feel like a [vernacular for s.o.b.], don't you?"

"Yes!" I told her. "I do!"

She said, "Well you're not. It's absolutely okay to feel that way."

What a relief. What a blessing.

So what I told her this afternoon, as my niece Ashley held the phone to Mother's ear, was that I love her, I appreciate all the encouragement she gave me as a creative young kid, and asked her to say hello to Daddy and Lois.

And I said, "I know you're about to go pretty soon. So goodbye."

I'm complete with Mother. And as I recently looked at some old slides I made, I'm newly aware what a babe she was in her 50s.

I am so blessed!

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Mother died on Tuesday, December 2, 2008. Old and full of years.