End of an Era; New Beginning

I am saying goodbye today.

This is an anniversary; exactly one year since Lois died. I've worn her ring around my neck on a chain and I'm still wearing my wedding ring. But I am feeling something changing inside me. It's a slow metamorphosis from something that was to something that is.

What "was" was a spiritual, beautiful, loving, sassy, sexy, classy babe named Lois. What "is" is a life of new opportunity: new roads to explore, new cultures to seek out.

New women to meet.

There, I've said it! Some of my Christian friends may be shocked. "Meeting new women" to some people means sex. And that's not what I mean. What I'm missing (and what I'm seeking) is a woman along the lines of a couple of married women I know at church. They're spiritual and sexy and dynamic and curious. They're like me. They're explorers! Surely they have unmarried counterparts.

But what I see with some consistency in my age group is women who are self-confessed "old ladies". And you can see it in their eyes. The glow has gone out. Their posture is slumped. Life has beaten them down. They dress like something out of the Van Gogh painting, "The Peasant and Woman Planting Potatoes". Why would anyone deliberately look like that?

Where's their sense of adventure? Quest for new horizons? Meeting new people whose languages they do not understand? Learning new skills? That's the appeal of younger women/men. It's not physical. It's spiritual, emotional. An appreciation for the absurd, to crack a joke. Lois did that even on her deathbed. Asking me for more medicine by singing the old Brylcreen jingle: "Morphine, a little dab'll do ya." Whatta babe!

Everywhere I go, I talk to people. It's my favorite form of entertainment. Sometimes they get huffy and walk away. But I just figure the heck with them. They just blew an opportunity to chat with one of the most interesting people they'll ever meet. And quite often -- in Germany or here in the States -- they're interested, inquisitive. Wondering who the heck is this American with the intense blue eyes? I remember the German physicist I met at a train station in Dresden, Germany. (You never know when you'll need to be chummy with a German physicist!) People are dying for social intimacy! Someone to notice them, to validate their existence. And for those of us who know how to do that, we need to do it.

If I were to go any kind of campaign about what to do after a spouse dies, I'd say this: Life does NOT die when the spouse dies. Life goes on. God gives us the breath to enjoy and taste what He has made for us.

I'm reminded of a line from a British revue in the 60s, "Beyond the Fringe":

"...when I get too old and tired and ill and sick and stupid ..."

Well, some of us have. And it's not an age thing. Mudballs hit the wall. There's a choice to either let those mudballs stop us or to step aside and move forward. I've had my share of mudballs. You don't work in TV news for as long as I did without angry, frightened news directors throwing mudballs at you. And several of them hitting you.

So ladies --and guys -- your Christian brother has a gentle word of encouragement for you:

GET ON WITH IT!

Walk with the King today
And be a blessing.

Coming up tomorrow: A Year and a Day. New Beginnings.